Monday, November 29, 2010
The Lonely Journey of Grief, Part 1 of 15
IDEA: What is grief?
PURPOSE: To help the listener recognize grief in order to be able to deal with it.
Have you ever grieved?
I. Everyone experiences grief.
George Bernard Shaw observed, “The statistics on death are quite impressive. One out of one people die.” Since death is a part of life, and grief follows death, then grief is universal. No one escapes it.
II. Grief has many causes.
Grief isn’t limited to death. We experience this emotion (or complex of emotions) whenever we lose anyone or anything we care about deeply:
- when we lose our health, our mobility, or our skills
- when we are part of a broken marriage or other broken relationship
- when we lose our job, either through retirement or being laid off
- when a son or daughter goes off to college or gets married
Whenever we lose any person or possession that has given us emotional security or satisfaction, we will grieve.
III. Grief has many faces.
All around us there are men and women, old and young, who suffer grief. Sometimes their grief is as obvious as a tear.
Sometimes they disguise their grief with activity, smiles, or a good make-up job.
IV. So what is grief?
The Larousse dictionary defines grief as “deep sorrow.”
Cohn Murray Parkes, in his scholarly work on Bereavement: Studies of Grief in Adult Life, sees grief as “the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment.” It is the reaction to irretrievable loss.
Grief resembles a physical injury more closely than any other type of illness. We speak of the loss as “a blow” or a “wound.” It gradually heals, as most injuries do, though at times complications set in, healing is delayed, and the outcome is poor.
Some injuries—like a broken bone—may end up stronger than an unbroken bone: the experience of grieving can strengthen and bring maturity to some who were previously protected from misfortune.
Grief, then, is our reaction to loss. The deeper the loss, the deeper the grief.
