Friday, August 15, 2008

A Marriage Made in Eden, Part 15 of 15

Guest: Gay Hubbard

IDEA: God's blueprint for marriage is found in what we call the household codes in the New Testament, in particular in Ephesians 5:21-33, Colossians 3:18-19, and 1 Peter 3:1-9.

PURPOSE: To help listeners think about marriage to be lived out in imitation of Christ.

We've talked about Genesis 2:24 as God's blueprint for marriage – leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh. But what about all of the passages in the New Testament specifically addressed to husbands and wives?

In our last conversation we looked at Paul's instructions concerning sex in marriage in 1 Corinthians 7, then at the metaphor/image of husband and wife as one flesh as a head and body operating together. But there are other passages that talk about the relationship of husbands and wives—1 Peter 3, for example, and also Colossians 3:18-19.

What is interesting in all of these passages is that each of the stipulations directed to wives or to husbands had already been mandated for the whole body of Christ. All people of faith are to have submissive spirits (Ephesians 5:21). All people of faith are to love one another with a self-sacrificing love (Ephesians 5:2). In every case the rationale was that Christ had already walked that road (1 Peter 2) and his followers could safely walk it as well. The example of Jesus Christ giving his life as a ransom for many is the reason wives submit to their husbands and husbands love their wives in a self-giving manner to the same degree that they love their own bodies.

Peter ended his household code about marriage with these words: "Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing" (1 Peter 3:8-9). We live this way because Jesus did it and we follow his example.

What does that look like in the 21st century? A Christ-imitating marriage has at least four components:

• The first component is a shared calling: we are called to be of one mind, having compassion for one another, tenderhearted and courteous, not tit for tat. In short we are to imitate Jesus in our marriages. Does this mean that we become doormats? No, Jesus stood up to those who opposed God's work and purposes in the world. But his compassion never flagged. He both figuratively and literally turned the other cheek to his oppressors. Our calling is to imitate Christ as we relate to our spouse.

• The second component of a Christ-imitating marriage is that, if God sends children into the home, both father and mother share in parenting them. In Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21 Paul directs instruction about rearing children to fathers. The 19th century culture shifted that to mothers, but the Proverbs 1-9 pattern of shared parenting is implicit in Paul's words to parents.

• The third component of a Christ-imitating marriage is shared dominion or shared provision. This was established in Genesis 1:28 and modeled in Proverbs 31. The central issue isn't about paychecks or whether a woman works outside the home—there are many ways in which wives can participate in providing for the family. But shared provision is essential to a good marriage.

• The fourth component of a Christ-imitating marriage is shared accountability. Paul reminds his readers that because we are members of one another, we must speak truth to one another (Ephesians 4:25), and we must let no corrupt word come out of our mouths (Ephesians 4:29). A Christ-imitating marriage demands honesty or truthfulness so that trust can flourish.

These four components can make a marriage which is a powerful testimony for the gospel to neighbors and colleagues. God's blueprint for marriage includes the possibility of our being a daily living demonstration to a watching world of the relationship of Christ to his bride, the church. Thus our marriages and our radically changed lives are vehicles through which God speaks to the world around us.